27 Mar Fear
The late great John Lennon wrote “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life”. Right now, we are being forced to pull back from each other, and yet this doesn’t mean we have to pull back from life.
Coronavirus and embracing life
I am over 70. I had a chest infection all through January and most of February, before most of us were thinking about Coronavirus. I am taking self isolation pretty seriously. And yes, I am afraid. I want to stick around for another twenty years to enjoy my children and grandchildren. And yet, and yet, I have not lost sight of life. I am embracing life. I feel more awake and more alive than a month ago. I am present to the love I have for Jane and for all our family. I feel care and concern for my disabled sister. I feel connected to my friends all over the world. This morning I had the thought that I’d like to wrap my arms around everyone I know and so I have started to connect with them and let the know how much I appreciate them being in my life. I am listening to great music and reading poetry that reminds me what a rich, awesome life I have lived.
And I am still planning for the future. I am busy reading and rewriting my PhD thesis, getting it ready to hand in at the end of the year. I am visualising and writing my final performance, that will be seen by my external examiner in November of next year. I am decluttering my study.
Moments are narrow
Moments are narrow. They pass quickly. Most of them we don’t even notice. They have come and gone. This moment is narrow too. It will pass. We don’t know when. Fears do more than scare us, they remind us what is important, what we cherish, what has real and lasting value. Fear wakes us up to what is really real.
So, we confront our deepest fears, we shine a light on them, and the power they hold over us fades, like a shadow in the sunshine. They disappear. Lennon concludes “Evolution, and all hopes for a better world, rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life”.
Fear is love
Fear is love turned inside out
and love has fear wrapped up in it
a gift we hardly dare accept
for fear of fear.